US POSTAL SERVICEI’m not a big fan of the U.S. Postal serice.

There.  I said it.

But according to a recent article in the New York Times, the US Postal service aims to leave their old image behind and position themselves as a technologically improved and advanced organization leading the way to people’s mailboxes in the 21st Century and beyond!  What’s next?  Buzz Lightyear stamps?!

The fact of the matter, from my perspective, is that the duck is still squawking like, well, a duck.  Because no matter how many fancy Public Relations and ad agencies the USPS hires (in this case, Campbell-Ewald in Warren, Michigan) I don’t think the word has trickled down to the lifers working behind the counters in my local post offices in Montclair, NJ.

Sure, the workers are “nice” enough.  But it seems that the longer the lines grow the more they seem to have things to do in the “back”.  I mean, whether they sell two stamps or two thousand, the paycheck from the Feds is still coming every two weeks, right?  I get no sense of customer service from these people.  And in their own defense, what’s their incentive?

And I don’t know about your neighborhood but we get wrong mail every single week.  That may have something to do with our mail carrier adhereing to the US Postal credo, “neither sleet nor snow nor rain nor the dark of night…” all while jabbering away on his cell phone.  He might be a bit distracted, but he’s in touch!

And don’t get me started about their arcane tracking methods and rubber stamps and silly stickers.  I mean, take United Parcel Service for example.  Their employees are all stock holders with a vested interest in how the company does.  In essence, every delivery person and truck driver is an owner in the company!  Using a bar coded tracking label, they know where every package is at any given moment.  If they lose it?  You’re automatically insured for up to $500 bucks.  No extra forms to fill out in triplicate and another rubber stamp marking the package “insured”.  Give me a break.

So while the marketing geniuses at Campbell-Ewald prepare to tell us how the old duck is now suddenly a swan — I ain’t buying it.  George Orwell, author of Animal Farm , might have taught us the perils of believing the propaganda phrase “four legs good,  two legs better“, but the duck, at least in my neighborhood, is still walking, talking and quacking…like a duck!